24th
Quakers & Gender Equality
My first week of work at Quaker-founded Guilford college found me at a sunny cafeteria table with a student several years younger than myself. He was boldly suggesting at the time, in the face of my deeply rooted experience as a Jesus-loving Quaker, that perhaps Christianity should be laid down. It had done many wrongs over the years, and hurt many people, and maybe it was time to lay it down, call it quits.
I was a bit taken aback and unsure of how to respond, except that it made me think of my own healing work when it comes to relationships with men! I know that’s kind of strange.
It’s just that I often see examples of violence and oppression led by men—in my own experience and in the greater world—since the beginning of something like recordable human history. (Forget Eve for the time being, okay?!?)
To be honest, it has almost been enough to make me want to give up at times and become some version of a secluded, misguided Quaker nun. Yet giving up on men—roughly half the world’s population—or the possibility of Truth revealing itself through the Christian experience seems like a vastly limiting and sad resolve.
There are gifts to be shared!
In my Meeting, here in the Southeastern part of the U.S., we have a female pastor and many women—and men—in leadership. I am deeply inspired by both sets, but it is the example of the men that most restores my hope. I get to experience what all people can accomplish together, when honoring what each of us brings to the table.
As a whole, the men in my meeting are very kind, gentle, generous, strong, and respectful. Sometimes during announcements, husbands will praise their spouse for being such an awesome partner. I am often late to meeting, and sit in the back, so I see arms circled lovingly around one another all across the room. With the men though, its in a demeanor that really denotes a sense of value. This encourages me.
Sometimes, in business meetings, couples will have different opinions about how we should move forward. It’s no problem though. We are all seeking God and Right order and it doesn’t matter who gets closest first. Every well-led contribution has helpful importance.
As a woman, I have often felt diminished or undervalued in local societies as well as in my travels abroad. So sometimes I want to take out a billboard praising the men in my meeting for going against what can sometimes be the “grain” of certain cultures.
We *all* benefit.
In my Meeting, I am freed up to just focus on God and my attempts at being faithful to leadings that arise. In silence and in organized worship, I trust that I will be heard, followed or led, and held accountable by what I bring, just as I seek to hold up the same for others.
